Friday, July 8, 2011

"My First Experience as a Feedee"

This was my second published story as Lizzyny which I posted onto Fantasy Feeder and DimensionsMagazine. 

For many years my weight had stayed pretty much the same...about 140 pounds which was a size 12.  When I was in my early twenties, I developed a bad case of strep throat and I shrunk down to an emaciated 117 pounds.  Within two years, my body returned to 140 and remained there until I first got married a few years later.  I packed on ten pounds and then discovered that I was pregnant.  I went from about 150 pounds to 182..size 14.  I kept this weight on and added a few pounds until my son was about eight years old - about when I divorced my husband. After that my weight dropped down to a svelte 137 pounds and I was at a size 6 - 8 (depending on the designer). 

It was at this time that I began dating online.  And it was at that point when I met Shawn. He was a wonderful guy...and the fattest man I had ever gone out with...about 400 pounds.  I'm ashamed to say I was rather shocked by his weight, but I think that was more due to the fact that he misrepresented himself in the photo he posted online.  It was a chest shot.  Where I could see he was stocky which didn't bother me, he hid the fact that he had a round, swollen bulging belly.  But, he was gorgeous and was just a lot of fun. 

But, what I didn't know was that Shawn was what I found out was a blossoming "feeder" as well as enjoyed being a "feedee".  These were terms that I had never heard of before, but that after a short period of time Shawn confided his fetishes to me.  I was even thinner at that point...about 132 pounds. I, a foodee at heart, and because of my growing attraction to Shawn, decided to be fattened up by him.  And, what fun it was! 

This story is autobiographical except that I changed Shawn's name to "Gary", but I tried to keep the rest of the story as true to my actual experience as possible. 

I had no idea yet that Gary was a feeder. But, I guess I should have suspected. He was subtle – I think not to scare me away.

I never knew what the terms “feeder” or “feedee” meant when I first met Gary. Some friends of mine set me up on a blind date with this great guy – a stockbroker who lived in Manhattan and was originally from Montana. We had emailed each other and exchanged pictures before our initial meeting. He was handsome with his dark, blue eyes, sandy blonde hair, and a stocky but solid chest.

After years of yo-yo dieting, I was five foot six and a very slender 134 pounds. I decided on a plain pencil skirt to make the most of my figure, a red sweater, and black stockings with 3 inch pumps. I was told he was just over 6 feet tall, so I thought I could use the height so we could see eye to eye.

It was a chilly fall day so I donned a black jacket and took the subway uptown to the American Museum of Natural History. I walked through the throngs of people and made my way to the statue of Teddy Roosevelt where we were to meet. I had arrived early but after waiting ten minutes and turning round and round, I started to lose faith.

“Liz?” I heard a deep voice call behind me.

I turned on my heel and saw Gary just as handsome as his picture except a much larger version of him. I only saw his head and chest in the picture he emailed me. But, below his chest he ballooned outward – a big belly and butt with massive, well-built legs. I shyly shook his hand. I had never gone out with anyone his size before. Truthfully, I was a bit shocked. But, I quickly disarmed by Gary’s charming personality and smart, quick wit.

When I thought of my reaction later, I was deeply embarrassed. Hadn’t my ex-husband years before walked out on me because I had gained what he thought was a tremendous amount of weight after the birth of our child? Actually, there were other reasons we split, but it all boiled down to the fact that in his viewpoint he no longer had the model perfect wife he could brag about to the guys in the office. I started out as Twiggy and quickly transformed into a woman in a Botticelli painting. I had become ugly in his eyes when I hit 190 pounds. It took a few years after the divorce before I lost the weight I wanted, plus more. Now, I was almost waifish – unhealthy for my frame. My ex-husband apparently always looked at the wrapping, but not what was inside the package. I was truly ashamed that I almost treated Gary in the same fashion.

Gary showed me the museum and then we sat and talked for what seemed like hours at a local café. I was totally blown away by his intelligence and his sensitivity. After that evening, we went out several times that week and that marked the beginning of our whirl wind affair.

We met as often as we could both get away from the daily grind. As you could imagine, food was often central to our dates. I didn’t think anything odd in that since it is with most dates and we were both coming from work most days. He wined and dined me through many of the trendier restaurants in Manhattan.

Gary was able to ingest a great amount of food, which his nearly 400 pound frame could attest to. He did work out several times a week lifting weights or boxing, but always found the time to knock down a half dozen hotdogs with the works at a sitting. I adored food and ate with gusto when I was with him (although there was always that little voice in my head that screamed NO, you’ll get fat). But, I loved and adored Gary’s fat belly. I soon fell in love with every bulge and crease. I enjoyed having him on top of me and pressing his great weight against me. I also loved being on top straddling his great Buddha belly as we made love for hours. I just loved the feel of him and couldn’t get enough of him.

I had no idea yet that Gary was a feeder. But, I guess I should have suspected. He was subtle – I think not to scare me away. I began to notice little things like him feeding me strawberries with whipped cream

when we cuddled up in front of the TV. He was a great cook and would always cook tremendous breakfasts when I stayed over insisting in a playful way that I should clean my plate. He always teased that I should put a little more meat on my bones. He was afraid to squash me. Those things by themselves would normally mean nothing since our society revolves around food, but in my nativity, I overlooked his intensity.

Then came the ultimate eating experience – New Year’s Eve. The morning of New Year’s Eve, we got up bright and early. The day started as always with a big, hearty breakfast cooked by Gary: eggs, bacon, toast with marmalade, cream of wheat, and coffee. He encouraged me to finish everything he put before me since he said we had a great day ahead of us. He wanted to take me someplace special. I filled up on breakfast, washing it down with two cups of coffee.

After we got dressed, we got on the subway and headed downtown. He took me window shopping – consignment shops, used bookstores, and then to a boutique a friend owned. My first surprise was that he wanted to buy me a dress to wear that evening. I was thrilled. He threw some dresses he liked over his arm and I added a few. Shortly, I was shown to the fitting room. I modelled a few for him, but we both liked a smart, jersey knit dress in a deep burgundy. It had a low neckline with long sleeves. It was a soft knit; a little closer fitting than I usually wore showing off curves and my rounder belly. I wasn’t so sure of this selection because of that, but Gary persevered saying I looked wonderful in it.

I had put on a few pounds in the past few months and it was becoming more noticeable. It was definitely true in this dress and also in the jeans I was wearing that day. I had refused to go up a size telling myself that I would lose the weight and instead just squeezed into jeans that were obviously too small for me.

These were the only pair of jeans that still fit – thank goodness for lycra. The others wouldn’t stretch across my blossoming belly. Since staying with Gary at his apartment, he’s been doing my laundry and he put my only pair of jeans in the wash and then the dryer. I usually would line dry them so I could breathe in them. I was going to wear a nice velour sweat suit, but Gary threw the jeans my way saying that I should wear them – better for what he had in mind, which I didn’t fully understand then.

So, I went through the ritual of lying on the bed, sucking in my breath, and buttoning my fly. It was two tries before I could close the buttons. My legs looked like sausages and my belly pressed roughly against the material forcing a large roll of flesh out the top. I wished I had brought another shirt, but only had a pretty orchid silk sweater that was cropped and not at all forgiving. It showed every hill and valley and if I extended my arm too much, it would ride up showing all. So, I camouflaged myself by wearing a heavy zip down fleece sweatshirt.

Luckily, my jeans had loosed up a bit with wear because there was nowhere to lie down in the fitting room. I had to press my back against a wall and flatten out my gut and then put on the silk sweater and zipped up the fleece. Gary was waiting for me at the door with my purchase.

We strolled arm and arm for a while until we hit our next surprise destination – Chinatown. Gary escorted me to what he described as one of his favourite haunts. He was quickly greeted by the door by name so I knew he frequented this place. The waiter showed us to a table in the very centre of the establishment.

“They have the best dim sum in all of Chinatown here,” he beamed at me.

Servers began almost immediately to buzz by with steaming carts with large bamboo containers. Gary expertly chose for us. There were dumplings in all varieties and combinations of pork, chicken, beef, seafood, and vegetables. I especially liked the one with the quail egg. Gary demolished dozens of the neatly formed dumplings. I didn’t do a bad job myself taking everything he offered me. The only problem is you don’t realize how much you’ve eaten until after you’ve eaten. The savoury little dumplings really add up after a while and your stomach feels like lead. One second I was devouring everything at a quick clip and the next minute I was struggling to eat what remained on my plate.

“You must be hot,” Gary said; sweat dripping down the side of his own face. “You should take off your sweatshirt. I don’t think it’s just the cart they’re bringing around. I think they have the heat up too high.”

I lied telling him I was fine. In truth, I had been suffering from the heat from the beginning of our meal. But, I could also feel how constricting my clothing had become. My expanding girth was trapped. I could feel my flesh swelling over the top of my waistband.

 I think I was struggling to breath more because of the intense pressure of my tightening clothing. Gary would have none of that. He made a show of standing up behind me and helping me off with my sweatshirt, so I was forced into compliance.

“I guess I ordered too much,” he joked, sitting close and rubbing my belly lightly.

“This is really embarrassing,” I said. “I really didn’t want you to see that I’ve put on so much weight…BRRPP…excuse me.”

“I don’t mind that you’ve put on weight, Liz,” he replied. “You’ll always be beautiful to me. But, you’ve got to learn to pace yourself like me.”

“I really couldn’t eat another bite. I’m stuffed,” I admitted.

“I’m sure if we waited a bit we could create some more room,” he smiled.

When I began to reject the idea, he coaxed, “I just love a woman with a big appetite who isn’t afraid of eating with abandon.”

He sat back rubbing his belly. “I think it’s so sexy,” he whispered into my ear.

A short time later, Gary ordered some lichee nuts, cookies, and a selection of bite-sized cakes for dessert. When I began to protest again, he said, “Come, come, my dear, everyone has a room for a little dessert. Besides you don’t look full yet.”

I groaned as I slowly ate. My stomach protested at every bite. I felt incredibly heavy and bloated by the time we got up to leave. As we walked the few blocks to the subway, I could swear that my buttons were dangerously close to bursting. But instead of going to the subway, Gary hailed a cab and we got off at Dean and Deluca’s. He explained that he wanted to pick up a few things for later. He purchased Foie Gras, bottled water, fruit, and some pastries. He paid for everything, we got back into the cab, arrived back at his apartment, waved at the doorman, took the elevator up to the 8th floor, and settled down to watch TV until it was time to get dressed and go out on the town.
Gary sat on the pale, ivory sofa and I sat on the floor, my back to the sofa, my legs stretched out in front of me. We watched a movie for about an hour or so before he broke into the snacks he had purchased.

“I’m still satiated from earlier, Gary,” I told him. “We’re going out soon. I don’t want to fill up.”

With some gentile persuasion on Gary’s part, I gave into my gluttony. He moved next to me on the floor and began to kiss my neck. When my top button finally gave way to the strain with a resounding BOING, he dove into my breast and began fondling me. Slowly but surely, his hands and lips ended up at my ballooning middle.

This was my chance. “If I didn’t know you better, I would have thought you’re deliberately trying to fatten me up.”

He suddenly pulled away from me and became very serious. He blushed.

“I must confess something to you, Lizzy,” he began slowly. “As you can see from looking at me, I’m really turned on by food. I love everything about it. I’ve taken cooking and wine classes. I enjoy having someone feed me and I love feeding others. It’s just that you’re so sexy and I think some weight would make you even sexier. You’ve shown me pictures of what you used to look like, and you were lovely with all your curves. I’d like to help you get there again. That is if you want to.”

I thought for a moment. I kept thinking is this guy really offering to feed me and actually doesn’t mind me putting on weight. It’s been such a struggle for me to try to maintain this weight actually starving myself. I couldn’t believe the opportunity I was being given.

“Well, how much weight are we talking about?” I asked him.

“Maybe another 20 pounds or so,” Gary said. “That would be up to you. And, I don’t always have to stuff you, you could stuff me. But, I’d really like to make this day perfect for you. Forget about everything, lay back, and let me treat you like a princess,” he answered. “I want to spoil you like you’ve never been spoiled.”

What could a girl say to that? So, I said nothing. I just let him begin feeding me the pastries, as he suckled at my breast. I ate enjoying the richness of the dessert until I could barely move.

We lay there for a few hours and then it was time for our night out to celebrate New Years.

I dressed in the new dress Gary bought me. I now knew why he favoured the dress. The fabric gently stretched across my now rotund belly. I guess he thought there would be room for expansion. I laughed to myself. He came out in a suit, lavendar shirt barely getting across his wide girth.

We walked about 10 blocks until we came to a restaurant. I should have realized that the last surprise would also involve food.

The dinner was one price, which included an appetizer, salad, main course, and dessert. The funny thing was that I was a bit hungry again. I guess my stomach was already stretched. But I also knew that with so many months of self-deprivation, I was ready to let go, put myself into Gary’s ample hands, and fattening up for him and myself.

The salad and fresh baked bread came out first. Both of us, dug into our meal with gusto. Then came out that seafood risotto – heavy and thick. Oh, so good. By the time my steak with truffle-mashed potatoes came out, I could hardly eat another bite. Gary had successfully stuffed me and I was slowly losing ground. I was slightly embarrassed at my inability to eat, so I kept hiding my cut meat under the mashed potatoes. But, Gary was too slick for a trick like that. He leaned across the table revealing my hidden stash and began to feed me my dinner one spoonful after the next. I didn’t protest since it would only bring unwanted attention to us. He even feed me some of the lobster off of his plate. My belly no longer had rolls, but was one big swelling sphere.

I had never felt so bloated in my life.  I was swollen up...ripe...ready to pop...

By the time the last glob of chocolate mousse passed my lips, I looked and felt as if I were about to give birth. I had never been so stuffed in my life!

Gary had to help me up from the table and walk me very slowly back towards his apartment. My hands reached under my open coat, holding my enormous tummy so that the walking wouldn’t jar it. I thought I would explode any minute. Gary continued to chuckle and give me a rub here and there until we were safely at his place.

Once there, he prepared a bubble bath for me. I was laid out in the tub surrounded by lit candles. Gary bathed me, paying special attention to my belly and of course, feeding me Godiva Chocolates until my belly was stretched tighter than I could have ever imagined.

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